By the end of 1999 I was in a good financial situation, with possibilities of changing my car for an utilitarian one, having in mind putting it to work in case "things went difficult" in the winter at the paint shop where I work.

On February 8, I learnt that a client of mine I had known for more than 20 years, had some financial problems and his current account had been closed since mid January. As a consequence, some checks he had given me had been rejected. Together with the interests, the debt came up to $4,000.

At that time I didn't have the money to cover that amount at the Bank so I had to resort to loans at high interests, because of the economic recession at the moment.

When I met him and his wife, whom I have known for the same time, they told me that they hadn't been able to warn me, but they were going to pay me: "wait for us, 'tano', give us time, because we are sending other people directly to the lawyer, since it's impossible to pay to everyone".

Time was going by, sales continued reducing and my debt was increasing. By the middle of May I prayed the Lord again about this situation, and He responded with the Word from Matthew 18:23-25, the parable of the servant. I felt that God invited me to go on waiting, and so I did.

From time to time I called at this client's office to see what possibilities he had to pay me; after four months, to give me at least $100, but he insisted on his impossibility.

Different negative feelings towards him began to mix inside me, and one day I didn't hesitate and told him what I was also living through: my dad in bed since December 24, affected by mieloma (cancer of the bones), in adition to osteoporosis that caused his ribs to break by unexpected movements; the delay in paying my employee's salary, the three months I owed to my children's school, unpaid credit loans, etc. Thus I tried to express to him the need to get my money back, but he answered telling me to wait, as usual.

Throughout those months I was understanding towards his situation, and I defended him against negative expressions other people used towards him. One day I began to see that he still had works, that he received a fixed amount of money weekly, that his wife —who had a real state agency— had an income too. In fact she still had her Fiat Palio and he had his new Ford pick-up.

While my mind was freely pondering on these things, which were evident, understanding and patience were losing ground, and a strong feeling of anger was arising in me.

I said to myself: "he well knows what I'm going through and he ignores me, or still worse, he is making fun of me".

At that point the voices of my pride and of temptation began asking for revenge: "Give up that passive attitude and press him; if you haven't got the guts to do it, find somebody else to do so".

God called me to a coherent life out of the faith and providence with which He had become manifest so many times in my life, and I had announced that, and this made such an "exit" to my situation to appear more and more disturbing and distressing.

I went to talk to Fr. Roberto. I remember that after this meeting, while leaving the parish house along a dark corridor, I told him: "Perhaps it's better to tell him what I'm going to do, to see if he reacts, and if he doesn't, I'll try to forget all about it. That would be fair, because the Lord is just, and in justice He is going to be provident".

In that dark corridor light came out, I began to see clearly within myself.

"God is light and in Him there is no darkness, if we say that we are in communion with Him and we walk in darkness, we lie and we do not live according to the truth". The Word invited me not to be silent, for that reason that same evening I shared with the community what was happening to me. To bring this situation into light irradiated more light into me, silencing the tempter's voice which manifested from my pride, generating lack of peace and distrust in the Providence.

The Word concluded saying: "But if we walk in the light, we are in communion with one another and the blood of Jesus, His son, cleanses us from all sin". In my prayer I could hear Jesus inviting me very clearly to renounce to the $4,000 without pressing him, just renouncing, for love.

The invitation was clear: I was asked for a renounce rather than a delay.

I realized that, as His servant, I was being ruthless: "… the king felt sorry for him, let him go and he also forgave his debt", "… you implored and I forgave your debt".

Then I remembered when in 1996 I cried out that He may be provident in a similar situation, in which I was on the opposite side, and where He showed his Providence to me, not because I deserved it, but because he forgave the wrongs I had done: "… Shouldn't you also show mercy to your companion as I showed mercy to you?"

Although these words "sounded" hard, I received them with a great deal of tenderness and joy, because He continued illuminating me and releasing me from my ties. But I still needed something: repentance and the sacrament of reconciliation as a need to forgive not only the debt but also for the negative feelings that I had towards F. Jesus was teaching me that liberation is in forgiving the debt as well as the person, who is my brother in Christ and for whom Jesus shed his blood too.

"But if we walk in the light, as He himself is in the light, we are in communion with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His son, cleanses us from all sin".

Enrique M.
Cristo Vive Aleluia!
Nº 124, p. 8 (2000)